24-Hour Fast

I started fasting 24 hours ago and am still keep going. I had lots of tea throughout the day. I went for a power walk for 40 minutes, too. Last night, I had only 2 hour sleep and I'm sleepy and tired! I will see how many more hours I can go without eating. I know that I don't need to eat anymore....I'm way too fat. I hate looking at myself in the mirror. I hate hating myself. I hate myself for not doing the right things for myself. I want to stop hating myself. I got to grow up... I got to do the right thing for myself. I know exactly what to do and what not to do. I just have to practice them. This time, I'm serious... :)

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サイパンじゃ美人

むかーし、「サイパンじゃ～美人～」という台詞で流行ったコマーシャルがあった。子供の頃にＴＶでやたら流れていたコマーシャルで、一体、どの会社の広告だったのかはもう記憶にないけれど、そのフレーズだけが強く印象に残る。サイパン「じゃ」美人ってことは、日本では美人じゃないってことを暗喩するのだろう。私がアメリカ生活をこよなく愛するのは、この「サイパンじゃ美人現象」のお陰と言っても過言ではない。断言しよう。自慢じゃないけど、生まれ故郷の日本では、私は一切モテない。　ずっと若い頃から不思議な位もてなかった。顔は主観によるから何とも言えないけれど、間違いなく美人では無く、かと言ってどブスでもないはず。要するに平均的な日本人の顔。性格は決して超ビッチな訳では無いツモリ。

突き詰めていくと、恐らく、サイズ10や12号の致命的な体型（別に、サイズ9号の頃ももてなかったけど・・・）、思ったことを遠慮なくバシバシ言ってしまう性格、思ったことをガンガン実行してしまう行動的な男っぷり、育った環境による汚い言葉遣い、美容や髪型やファッションに一切気を使わないという性格的な可愛気の無さ、そういう見た目的な女の魅力の無さ、その全ての条件が重なり合って、「モテナイ」という圧倒的な現状を招いたのだと思われる。事態は深刻だ。そこで、子供の頃に聞いた「サイパンじゃ美人」というあのフレーズを思い出し、海外に希望の光を見出し、日本脱出を試みた。

そうして、3年半前にアメリカはサンフランシスコにやってきた。来てみると、モテる、モテる。笑　いや、冗談でも自慢でもなく、これがモテるんです。同じ自分かとおかしくなる程、アメリカでは面白い位にモテる。普通に毎日外出すれば、下手したら一日一回か、それ以上は声がかかる。まぁ、ほとんどが軽いノリだけど、軽くないのも少なくない。幼い頃から抱いていたボーっとした印象だけの言葉が、今度はしっかりと「やはり、サイパンじゃ、美人なんだ。」と形を持って自分の中に再現した。

よく、「自分とは違う人種の美醜を見分けるのは難しい」と言われる。これは全く正しい説だと思う。よく、ブスな日本人女子を連れたちょっとカッコイイ外人男子とかと歩いているのを日本で見て、不思議に思うことがあると思うけど、これは、やはり彼等が「自分とは違う人種の美醜が判断できない」ことに起因する現象なんだろう。私も今、十分にその恩恵を受けているから、全然文句は無い。何度も言うように、私は日本ではモテない。普通の常識的な日本人の間では、私の顔は決して「美しい」という基準には達していないのだ。でも、アメリカという素晴らしい国に住んでいるのは、白人や黒人、ラテン系、アメリカ先住民等、日本人の美醜の区別がほぼ無理な人達ばかり。何て素敵な国だろう。こういう国だからこそ、自国日本ではモテナイ私のような女子もいい思いをすることができる。この人達は、ハッキリ言って、アジア人の私がカワイイのかカワイクナイのか、さっぱりわかってない。彼らは私の長い黒髪、デカイ胸と尻を見て、それで安易に「ビューティフォー！」って結論に至っているんだと思う。この安易な人達に乾杯！

プラス、アメリカではデブの基準も日本とは大幅に異なる。日本では年頃（？）の女子が行くようなブティックでは、はっきり言って私の服のサイズはおいていない。Ｌサイズ、というものすら、一切入らない。私に言わせれば、何がどうラージなのか謎。お店に入るだけで、店員から白い目で見られることも多々。申し訳なくて、もうブティックには足を踏み入れられないデブさ加減。そういう私でも、こちらアメリカは天国。日本でＬでも入らない私が、アメリカではＭやＬで丁度いい。そして、それ以上のサイズもいくらでも製造・販売されている。そして、全米に多数のお店をドーンと構えるデブ女子専用の洋服店Lane Bryantとか言うお店に入ってみると、その店で一番小さいサイズでも、私には大き過ぎて、ダメだった。嬉　私は、アメリカではデブじゃないのだ。実際、自分の何が変るわけでもないけど、外的要因で、自分の中の自分の印象が変る。笑　まぁ、勘違いと言えば、確かにただの勘違いなんだけど。笑　

そんなんだから、アメリカでは私のような体型でも男性によって受け入れられている。改めていい国だ。これは、やはりこの国で生きていく方が賢明だろう。 でも、この環境に慣れると、段々デブ度が高まっていくばかりな気がして怖い。でも、自分が「全くモテないデブ女」に格下げ（現実に戻る？）になる故郷日本に完全帰国することを考えると、そっちの方がよっぽど怖い。

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again

ok, I haven't been successful with my dieting. But I will not give up because I cannot afford to give up at my age if I want to stay healthy. In our 30's, we really have to watch our behaviors, what we eat, what we do throughout the day, how we do things...in order to stay healthy. I am not planning to get sick so I have no choice but to lose a lot of weight. I know, I know, I know. I know it. This weight issue really depresses me and it is not good for my mental health, too. For myself, I have to lose weight. I cannot keep acting like a child. I got to do what I got to do. No more excuses! It's simple. Just eat less and exercise every day. How simple can it get? haha. Easy to say, hard to do. But I will do it! I will keep the log here starting tomorrow. Wish me luck!

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カルチャーショック

海外に行ったことがある人は、誰も多かれ少なかれ、カルチャーショックを受けた経験があると思う。私も、色々ある。昨日英語バージョンに書いたのは、アメリカ人がいかに刑務所に近い所で生活しているかって話ね。ほんと、アメリカ人の知人、友人、聞いてみると、皆が皆、家族やら友人、知人、誰かが刑務所に居るか、居たって言うんだよね。日本では有り得ないことだよね。これは、アメリカ社会の問題を浮き彫りにしていると思う。これが自称世界ナンバー１の国だからね。ダメじゃん。　　

あと、日本に帰った時に、まず空港で気付いて笑ってしまうのが、　日本人が互いにペコペコお辞儀を繰り返している風景。面白い。礼儀正しい「っぽい」人たちだ。笑　これがおかしく見えるのは、単に、普段アメリカに生活をしていて、「お辞儀」を目にする機会が少ないから、というだけ。この文化は好き。日本人のお互いに距離を維持する礼儀正しさはすごく好き。私のパーソナル・スペースは他の人より広い方だと思う。

一方、アメリカはお辞儀の代わりに握手だったりハグだったりするけど、それはすごく嫌い。私は他人の身体を触るのが嫌い。手だけでも嫌い。手なんて、洗ってない人沢山居るし。どこ触ったかもわからないし。信用ならない。笑　ハグなんてもってのほか。でも、そういう文化の中で生きているから、郷に入らば・・・で従ってる。 あと、日本で嫌なのは、歩いている時に誰かぶつかったり、すぐ目の前を通ったりしても何も言わないこと。アメリカだったら、「excuse me」と言うのが習慣化している。何で日本人はぶつかったりしても「すみません」が言えない人が多いんだろう？？　

あと、アメリカ人、謝罪を口にする人が少ない気がする。これに関しては、アメリカに住んでる日本人達と意見が合う。皆もそう感じるみたい。日本人は自分が悪い時は言い訳をせずに平謝り、が基本だよね。でも、アメリカ人は、「すみません」の一言を言う前に、あれやらこれやら言い訳のオンパレード。本当に悪いと思っているのか？？って思う。時には、言い訳を沢山した挙句、肝心の「すみません」が最後まで聞けないことも少なくない。こればかりは慣れない。でも、あーいうのも、こーいうのも、「文化だから」って言われたら、それ以上何とも言えない。文化だと、いい、悪いって判断するものじゃないもんね。微妙だわ。

そういえば、アメリカでも日本でもないけど、中華系。中華系の人たち、普通に好きだけど、どうしても慣れることができない彼等の文化がある。文化というか、マナーというか。ものを食べる時、口を閉じずに食べて、クチャクチャ音をたてるし、食べてる口の中も見えるというグロいテーブルマナー。いつまでたっても慣れない。彼等同士は、それを気持ち悪いって感じないのかなぁ？？　これってもしかして、日本人が麺類をすすって音をたてて食べるのと通ずるものがあるのかなぁ？う～ん。

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Culture Shock!

Some people ask me if I have experienced the culture shock since I moved here to the U.S. And my answer is yes. I am sure there are many but I want to talk about just one here. Here in the U.S., I feel that people are much closer to jail or prison than people in Japan are. I say this because whoever I talk to here in the U.S., they all know someone who's in jail or who's been to jail in their lives.

I've lived in Japan for 32 years and I know lots of people but I don't know a single person who's been to jail, and I don't know anybody who knows someone in jail. Jail is that far from people's everyday life.

It's sad....It is not like America has more bad people or Japan has more good people. It's not the case. There are both good people and bad people in both countries. Somehow, American society is built in a way that certain groups of people end up in jail much more than others. And I don't see that the certain groups of people are any worse than other group. I wonder if this is some kind of coincidence....or is it designed that way?

Either way, I find it very sad and unfortunate, especially considering the fact that the U.S. supposed to be the richest, most progressive, and developed country in the world. Something must be going very very wrong when high percentage of its people are constantly sitting in jail and their family are in desperation at home without him/her in the house.

Now, don't get me wrong. I am not saying Japan is great and perfect. It has its problems which I will talk about in the next entry. (yes, you will be surprised and won't believe me when you read it) Like I said earlier, both countries have both good and bad. Putting altogether, I find U.S. easier for me to live.

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独女の独り言

32歳、シングル。あまりよい状況じゃない。同級生の女の子達は皆さっさと結婚して２－３人子供も居る。中には、結婚して離婚してまた結婚している人も数人いる。他人が２回も結婚している間に、私は何をやっていたのだろう？？でも、それぐらいまではまだ余裕だった。でも、最近、周囲の男の子達もじゃんじゃん結婚しては父親になっていく。ひぇー！ヤバイ！いよいよ焦りだす。 男の32歳シングルと女の32歳シングルでは話が全然違う。もっと若い頃（「もっと」を付け足すことにより、今も若いのだということをさり気なく強調したかった。）、結婚なんて皆がしているのだから、誰でもできる簡単なものだと思っていた。母が29歳の時、かなり焦って結婚したという話も、他人事のように聞き流した。

私は変な子供だった。子供のくせに、何故か人生設計をするのが好きだった。学校のノートに、一直線をひいて、それをタイムラインとして、1977年、誕生、・・・2002年春には大学を卒業、2004年には大学院を卒業、と書き込んでいくのがたまらなく楽しかった。その自分年表によると、4年制大学を卒業し、修士号を取得し、就職し、旅行等してシングルライフを存分に楽しんだ後に、29歳位で素敵な出会いをし、しばらくお付き合いをして、31歳に結婚！その2年後に出産！ということになっていた。しかし、数々の男達がやって来ては去っていったように、31年目の年もまた、やって来ては、そして去って行った。・・・。そして、取り残されたのは、32歳シングルの私だけだった。ガーン！私が子供の頃に書いた自分年表には、「32歳シングル」なんて出来事は記されていなかった・・・。

32歳シングルと言うと、男運が無い女を想像するだろう。しかし、自分で言うのも何だけど男運はある意味いい方だと思う。今まで親しくしてきた男性は、どの人も素敵な人で、今も気の置けない友人として信頼して交流させてもらっていて、有難い。でも、彼等がどんなにいい人間でも、私がどんなにいい人間でも、男女としての相性が合わなかったり、お互いの理想とする男女のタイプに合わないのであれば、将来は真っ暗なのだ。

31歳の秋、ある男性となかなか相性の合う人を探し出すのは難しいという話をしていた。その男性曰く、「男性は梯子を昇るにつれ、条件がよくなっていく。しかし、女性は梯子を昇るにつれ、条件が悪くなっていく。」なるほど。彼の主張はこうだ。男性は、ＩＱ，年齢、学歴、仕事も責任のポジション、給料、そのどれが上がっても、上がれば上がる程、より多くの女性がその男性と結婚したがる。一方、女性の学歴、年齢、仕事のポジション、お給料、それらのどれが上がっても、上がれば上がる程、その女性と結婚したがる男性は少なくなっていく、と。なるほど。

確かに。一理も二理もある話だ。同時に、私にとっては絶望的な話。
私は、32歳、修士号を持っていて、やがて米国の大学院で博士号を取得する。以前は高校教員をしていたけど、来年からは大学で教えることになるんだろう。そうすると、お給料も同年齢の平均的なサラリーマンと同じ位か、それ以上頂けるだろう。一般的に、男性は自分より「上」の女性と一緒になることを好まない傾向があるのは洋の東西を問わないようだ。「男のプライド」は男性のＤＮＡに深く深く刻まれているから。そうすると、自分より「上」の男性を探さなければならない。自分でも、同じ屋根の下に住む相手の男性に気を使って話をしなければいけないかと思うと、やはり自分より「上」の男性と一緒になった方が気が楽だろう。

自分より上というと、32歳以上、博士号取得者、いいお仕事をしている人、ということになる。今、住んでいるアメリカでは博士号取得者は人口の１％だそうな。大雑把に考えて、その半分が男性だとすると、アメリカの全人口の0.5％が、私のパートナー候補者ということになる。その中でも、32歳以下だったり、45歳以上だと離れ過ぎているかも。そういう人口を除くと、すごく少ない人数になる。そして、その中でもまた別の条件も考えないといけない。まず、リパブリカンはダメ。コンサバもダメ。マイノリティに理解無い人もダメ。

やはり、結活をするからには、自分の身の程をわきまえてなくてはならない。
まずは自分を客観的に見てみると・・・

☆年齢：32歳（＊でも心は18歳。＊そしてアタマは９歳。）
☆婚姻：未婚
☆子供：無し
☆子供が欲しいか：欲しい
☆身長：166cm
☆体重：やや重し（＊夏までに痩せる予定）
☆宗教：無宗教、でも神論者
☆学歴：修士、やがて博士（だといいけど・・・暗）
☆仕事：学生、元公務員（暗～）、やがて専業主婦（長年の憧れ～）
☆喫煙：吸わない（お金の無駄！）
☆飲酒：月１回飲むか飲まないか（飲むと饒舌になり、すぐ眠くなる）
☆ドラッグ：やらない（そんな年じゃぁありません）
☆ギャンブル：しない（捨てるお金はありません！）
☆住環境：1人暮らし
☆趣味：ネイルアート、旅行、ゴルフ、スペイン語学習？（サボり気味）
☆運動：ほぼ毎日１時間（偉い、偉い！）
☆食事：バランスよく・・・大食い早食いの傾向あり　
☆言語：日本語、英語、沖縄語ちょっと、スペイン語ちょっと
☆政治：リベラル
☆髪：フサフサ（笑）
☆ボディアート：無し
☆匂い：臭くない
☆星座：山羊座（食べるのも好き）
☆ペット：いないけど、欲しい（犬）

顔も性格も普通、勤労意欲はあり、健康で、暴力も振るわず、そして結婚願望かなり強し（多分それが男性諸君を怖がらせている理由だろう）。そして、南国育ちだから、やたら情熱的（たぶんこれが男性諸君は暑苦しいんだろう）。

こういう「身の程」にあった男子、どこに居るのかな？なかなか見かけない。皆、私の年ではすでに結婚してて、子供が居て。そうじゃない方々はドラッグ中毒だったり、アル中だったり、無職だったり、ギャンブル癖があったり、女好きだったり、臭かったり、リパブリカンだったり、ゲイだったりオカマだったりする。

相手の希望はと言うと、やはりカップルにはバランスが必要だから、総合して私よりも上過ぎず、丁度いい位で。何となく似たようなバックグランドで、何となく似たような経験をしてきてて、何となく似たような人生設計を持っている人。ごくごく普通の常識的で穏やかな人。フツーでね、フツーで。

こうやって考えると、本当に理想の男性はどこかに居るのか「？？？」になってくる。

ちなみに、この話を31歳の秋に一緒にしたあの男性、今は私の彼。あれは2回目のデイトの時の会話。彼は全てにおいて私より「上」で、全体的なところでは合っている。好きなんだよなぁ・・・。どうなることやら。



　

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Natural Enemy

Michael said "A girl's best friend is a natural enemy of the girl's husband/boyfriend." Sadly, I think this is a wise statement. In the last couple of days, this statement was backed up with my best friend's husband's action. I am not going into the details of the story itself. Girls, we all have best friends, right? And we are all on their sides, right? No matter what, I always think of my best friend's best interest. I always put myself in her shoe and try to come up with good solutions to her problems. Even the reality that she does not want to face, I help her face it. I say things that she doesn't want to hear but needs to hear. She's done the same for me for over the last 17 years. My best friend is married to this man that I've known for 14 years now. Whenever my friend wants to talk about some issue in their relationship, I try to help her out and offer my opinions and ideas on her request. I feel like that every time I do that, her man hates me more. But hey, what else am I supposed to do?

Between them, they have love for each other, so no matter what they discuss, after all, they make up and be all happy again. On the other hand, between me and her man, as we don't have the magical glue called love, we stay as enemies. The enemy level just goes up and up and up every time they go through issues. By only doing the right thing-offering my help on request to my best friend, I am making a stronger enemy. Could I avoid this? Just ignore my friend's problem and say "It'll be fine. He is not a bad man. He doe not do anything wrong to you. It's all your imagination"? Does that make me a better person? If I did not care about my friend, I guess I can do that and avoid making an enemy, but probably I won't make a goo friend either. Even though I think I am doing the right thing, I am making a bigger enemy and I end up feeling awful! When I spend my time, effort, and money to help someone, I rather end up feeling good....:(

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im depressed.

i don't know why but ive been depressed. im not motivated to do anything. when im depressed, i don't want to write in japanese. i hate being depressed. i think i will go to bed now and hopefully when i wake up in the morning, i will be happy again. tomorrow is my volunteer day. i get to work with my 5th graders all day. that will cheer me up for sure.

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My Mother-Mother's Day!

It's mother's day very soon. I don't even know when exactly that is, but I know it' s soon because I see all the mother's day signs in stores everywhere. I haven't decided what I am going to give to my mom. Have you?

My mother lives in Okinawa. She likes movies and we used to go see movies together, so I might get her a DVD or something. One time, I showed her "How Stella Got Her Groove Back." She really liked it. lol

If you have seen it before, you know what it mean. I like the movie, too, but it is one thing for a relatively young single woman to like the movie, but a whole different thing for a not-so-young married woman to like the movie. It has different meaning??

Anyways, my mom....she is such a great woman. I think I respect her over anybody else in the world. She is just amazing. She has always been working really hard.For example, right now, she is teaching 2 different classes at a college. She gives lectures whenever she's asked in different places such as schools, government offices, companies, etc on different topics. She writes for newspapers constantly. And some other stuff, too. Doing all that on the side, her main job is a president of a company. As long as I can remember, she always had multiple important jobs and she is always running from a job to another. In the society, there are some men like that who holds high position in the society and work hard and compete against others. But the people she competes against are men and they usually have wives who support them and take care of everything.

In my mother's case, she does all these, and on top of that, she has been a perfect wife to my father and a perfect mother to me and my 2 brothers. She always wakes up earlier than anybody else, she cooks a full Japanese meal, which means rice, miso soup, grilled fish, some veggies, etc. She feeds us, send us to school(when we were kids), do the dishes, start the washing machine, go to work, go grocery shopping, come home, cook dinner, fold clothes, help us kids with our homework, etc. Then, she starts writing her speech for the next day or something, while taking care of my father. I don't know how she can do this. She is a super woman!

Now,my mom plays golf as much as she can. Often, she leaves home around 5am and go to driving range and hits 200 balls, then, come home, cooks breakfast for dad(now my brothers and I live elsewhere, so there is only my parents living in their house.), then, goes to work. I might get her some golf gear. Pink balls? (I like pink balls but I keep losing them...)

It might sound like my mom is a really serious and boring person. Actually, she is funny as hell! I cannot explain how funny she is, but she is always telling stupid jokes and laughing to herself. My dad is also kind of like that, too, so they are funny together. Often enough, they make me feel embarrassed in public.

I often think about when she passes away. She is 65 now and who knows how much longer she gets to live. I am worried about that all the time. She is such a special person and I love her to death. I have a lot more things that I have to learn from her. I still haven't paid back for all the things she has done for me. I have to become somebody and make her proud of me. I want to make sure I do that before she leaves this place. I want to make sure that I will not regret when the time comes.

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Boot Camp Effect ブートキャンプの効果

４週間に渡るブートキャンプの効果、日本語は下に書いてます！ So, my 4-week long boot camp is over. I got the post camp measurement.

Body Composition 32.1%　→　31.3%
Arms 12 → 11.75
Shoulders 40 →　41
Chest　39　→　37.75
Waist　32　→　31.25
U. leg　23.5 → 23
Weight 159.5 →　156.5

I know it does not look like a lot of change, but I am happy with it. The best result I see is that my chest size got smaller. Also, the body composition dropped about 1 %. I am hoping to keep exercising and get in shape before the summer.

キャンプ後の結果発表！
体脂肪率 32.1%　→　31.3%
腕 12 → 11.75
肩幅 40 →　41
胸囲　39　→　37.75
ウエスト　32　→　31.25
大腿　23.5 → 23
体重 159.5 →　156.5

数字だけ見ると、すごい成果があったようには見えないけれど、体を見ると、やっぱり変化が見られる。触ると、もっと変化がわかる。全体的に締まってきた。このまま夏まで頑張って、痩せるぞ！

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Intersting Facts about the Japanese Language

(PHOTO: a typical newspaper article in Japanese.You can see the mixture of 3 writing systems. The complicated looking ones are kanji, the Chinese characters.)

So, my FIRST LANGUAGE is Japanese, and I LOVE it! It's such a beautiful language! Well, I love all languages, but Japanese is very special in many ways.　

☆The Japanese language is SPOKEN BY OVER 130 MILLION PEOPLE in Japan and in Japanese communities around the world!

☆The Japanese language has its own sign language.(No, ASL users and Japanese sign language users cannot communicate with each other, just as English speakers and Japanese speakers cannot communicate with one another.)

☆Japanese is written with NO SPACES between words.

☆Japanese is written in a MIXTURE OF 3 MAIN SYSTEMS: HIRAGANA, KATAKANA, and KANJI-the Chinese characters.

☆HIRAGANA and KATAKANA are syllabaries. SYLLABARY is a set of written symbols that represent (or approximate) syllables, which make up words. A symbol in a syllabary typically represents an optional consonant sound followed by a vowel sound. Hiragana looks like this　→　あ(it sounds "a" and has no meaning.)Katakana looks like this　→　ア(it sounds "a" and has no meaning.)

☆KANJI is a LOGOGRAM, a grapheme which represents a word or a morpheme (the smallest meaningful unit of language).Kanji looks like this　→　漢字(it means "kanji")

☆Japanese is a UNIQUE language because its speakers use both syllabary and logogram at the same time. For syllabary, you use the left brain, and for logogram, you use the right brain. Therefore, Japanese users use both left and right brains constantly in a balanced fashion as they read and write Japanese.(there is no scientific evidence to this, though... but interesting to think about it this way)

☆There are 46 hiragana alphabet letters and 46 katakana alphabet letters and who knows how many kanjis there exist. Some say 3000 KANJI CHARACTERS ARE COMMONLY USED.(No Japanese person can tell you how many kanji characters they can read or write.)

☆Japanese students learn 1,006 KANJI characters by the end of 6th grade, and learn another 939 KANJI characters by the end of 9th grade, in total 1945 characters.


☆The Japanese language often DOES NOT SPECIFY THE SUBJECT. The meaning of the subject is conveyed by the context.

☆Nouns in Japanese do not change in the plural form. Instead, a number or counter before the noun indicates the quantity.

☆Japanese words change depending on the FORMALITY of the situation. Honorifics in Japanese are broadly referred to as KEIGO (敬語, literally "respectful language"), in which there are 5 CATEGORIES. Each type of speech has its own vocabulary and verb endings:

1.Sonkeigo (尊敬語), respectful language, a special form or alternate word used when talking about superiors and customers.

2.Kensongo (謙遜語) or Kenjōgo (謙譲語), the humble language, is used when describing one's actions or the actions of a person in one's in-group to others such as customers in business.

3.Teineigo (丁寧語), polite language. Television presenters invariably use polite language, and it is the form of the language first taught to most non-native learners of Japanese.

4.Teichōgo (丁重語), "word beautification" used when the listener is in the higher position than the speaker.

5.Bikago (美化語), "word beautification" used to add refinement to speaker's manner of speech.

So, do you feel like learning Japanese now? or is it too overwhelming? I know. You did not imagine how complicated this language was, did you? I don't know how we manage to master the language. It is a fun language to learn though if you are not a perfectionist. Lots of English speakers are learning Japanese despite its difficulty level. Many people enter into the world of Japanese language from anime/manga-Japanese cartoon or samurai movies.

By the way, did you know I am from OKINAWA and we have our own language? Yes, we do. Unfortunately, I cannot speak it. Long story...I might tell you about it later. But I do know lots of words and phrases in Okinawan language.

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もうすぐブート・キャンプ終わり！その効果は？

（写真：時々散歩させる犬、ジェイクさんです。かわいいでしょ？）

あと3回でブート・キャンプが終了です。涙　ところで、つい３－４日前、ふと自分の手を見ると、手首が先日よりも細くなっている気がした。指をまわしてみて、改めて実際に手首が細くなったことを実感！そして、２日前、ふと見ると足首が細くなっていることに気がついた。どちらも気のせいとか、目の錯覚とか、豊かな想像力の賜物とかじゃなくて、本当に細くなっているのだ！！！！！

３週間前に始めたboot camp。やっと効果が出てきた様子。体重は変ってないけど、少しずつ体が締まってきているのね。足首と手首、昔は普通の人間並みに細かったのに、社会人一年生の時を皮切りに、一気に象化が進んだ。エレファントマンじゃなくて、エレファントおばちゃんになってしまった。体重が元気に右肩上がりだったのと比例して、着々と足首も手首も太くなり。悲　本当に、人間、手首や足首にも贅肉ってつくのねって他人事のようにびっくりした。

それが、８年ぶり位に手首と足首が出てきた。笑　　嬉しい。涙
贅肉の下に、手首と足首はちゃんと埋まっていたのである。おめでとう、自分!

この調子で、ここ８年位着続けてたこの気ぐるみを脱ぐぞ！！！

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3 more days

Wed, Thur, and Fri, and that's it. No more boot camp for me. At least for now. Instead, I will start going to the Gold's Gym near my house. I really liked the boot camp because it was women only camp and it was from 5:30am to 6:30am, which means the whole time we exercised, it was dark and people could not see my ugly body. I did not have to think about how I must look when I was exercising. Am I thinking to o hard? Now, I've participated in this camp for a month, I will start exercising in public at the gym... I will be self conscious about how I look when I am exercising. :( People say that people are not watching others in the gym, but I KNOW it's not true. I've caught too many men staring at me or other women exercising! I hate that!

Today, while I was jogging, for the first time in a long time, I could feel my muscle on my behind actually working. It's like the muscle was isolated from different muscles on my body. Hard to explain, but I think it's a good thing. Before, when I was jogging, all I could feel was my heavy body. I was trying to move the heavy body forward. lol Now, throughout the day, I can often feel different parts of my muscle working. I guess this is how normal person should feel.

I kind of made this habit of exercising in the last month. Now, I have to change my diet. That should make a big difference on my body and the weight. Good luck to me!

What I will do:
Eat less.
Eat more vegetable and fruit.
Drink more water.
Avoid fried food.
Don't starve myself.
Eat small amount 5 times a day.
Avoid red meat as much as I can.
Eat slowly.
Always use small plate.
Eat before 8pm.
Don't eat and lay down right after.
Don't seek comfort in food.
Cut down on the sugar.

I am not planning to go crazy over this and be super strict on myself.
But I will do as much as I can. Baby step, baby step!
I gotta be realistic, right? Or it won't last.
My point is to make a good habit and keep it for the rest of my life, so
it has to be doable and nothing extreme.

If you have any advise, it will be appreciated!

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Finally

Several days ago, I noticed that my wrists were skinnier than a month ago! First, I thought it was my imagination or something, but I took a good look and felt both my wrists, and I realized that I was actually losing the fat that used to be there around my wrists!!! Finally! Then, today, I realized that my ankles are also skinnier!

I used to have regular size wrists and ankles when I was younger. However, 8 years ago, I started gaining weight as I graduated from my graduate school and started working and started driving to places every day. All the stress and terrible work schedule and life change contributed to my gaining weight. I would eat when I was happy,and I would eat when I was unhappy. I mean, I still have this food addiction I must admit. But I finally took the first step to change this situation. For the last 8 years, I kept gaining weight every year. This is the first time that I see any sign of losing weight or getting back to shape! I am proud of myself! I know this sounds like nothing to many people, but to me, this is a great achievement!

I'm in my last(4th)week of the boot camp. I was thinking about joining the new camp after this one, but I decided not to. Instead, I think I will start going back to the gym and work out on my own. Now, it's going to be up to me. Since I am on the right track, I will stay on it and lose weight and gain my self confidence back! :)

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BMI of Japanese women drops from teens to 20s; unique trend poses health risks

Here is an interesting article from a Japanese newspaper.
Yeah, let them worry about LOSING TOO MUCH WEIGHT! lol

下に日本語記事も掲載しています。日本ってとにかく痩せてる人ばかりですよねぇ。帰国するのが怖いです。

BMI of Japanese women drops from teens to 20s; unique trend poses health risks

A research team has found a downward shift in Body Mass Index (BMI) among Japanese women from their late teens to their 20s, a trend unseen in other countries.

"There's a good image attached to being slim, but in fact, there are indications that it can have negative effects on health and childbearing," the University of Tsukuba endocrinology and metabolism department research team says.

In general, BMI -- a measurement of one's body fat calculated by height and weight -- begins to increase around age six. According to data from Japan's national health and nutrition survey and similar surveys conducted in the U.S. and South Korea, the BMIs of American men and women as well as Korean and Japanese men continued to increase from age 10 onwards. Among Korean women, BMIs stopped rising around age 18, and remained unchanged through their twenties. Among Japanese women, however, BMIs stopped climbing around age 15, and began decreasing in their twenties.

An analysis of Japanese women's BMIs after 1958 has shown that in the 1970s, when women born between 1950 and 1959 were in their late teens or early twenties, their BMIs suddenly began to drop.

Low body weight in young women can often lead to eating disorders, propensity for depression, and loss of bone density. Such women are also at high risk of giving birth to babies with low birth weight.

"Our society has a strong tendency to encourage people to lose weight, but low body weight among young women is a serious problem," says Hirohito Sone, a professor at Tsukuba. "We'd like to look into why the desire to be slim escalated from around 1970."

The research team's findings will be published in an American epidemiology journal in May.

(Mainichi Japan) April 12, 2009

女性の肥満度：ＢＭＩ、日本だけ「減少」　やせ願望？専門家、悪影響を指摘
　◇１０代後半から２０代にかけ　日本人女性の肥満度を示す体格指数（ＢＭＩ）が、１０代後半から２０代にかけて減少に転じ、他国では見られない特有の傾向であることが、菅原歩美・筑波大研究員（内分泌代謝科）らのチームの研究で分かった。米疫学誌の５月号に発表する。菅原さんは「やせていることのイメージは良いが、実際は健康や出産への悪影響が指摘されている」と話す。

　一般に、ＢＭＩは６歳ごろから増加する。日本の国民健康・栄養調査と、同様の調査を持つ米国、韓国のデータを調べたところ、米国男女と韓国、日本の男性は、１０歳以降はＢＭＩが増え続け、韓国女性は１８歳ごろ増加が止まり、２０代は横ばいだった。一方、日本女性は、１５歳ごろ増加が止まり、２０代は年齢とともに減少した。

　また、５８年以降の日本女性のＢＭＩを解析した結果、５０～５９年生まれの女性が１０代後半から２０代前半だった７０年ごろ、一斉にＢＭＩが減り始めた。

　若い女性のやせは、摂食障害やうつ傾向、骨密度の低下を起こしやすく、出産時に低出生体重児になる確率が高い。曽根博仁・同大教授は「やせることを勧める風潮が強いが、若い女性のやせは深刻だ。７０年ごろを境にやせ願望が強まった背景を探りたい」と話す。【永山悦子】

＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝

　■ことば

　◇ＢＭＩ（体格指数）
　国際的に肥満度を示す指標として使われ、体重（キロ）÷身長（メートル）の２乗で算出。日本肥満学会は１８．５未満をやせ、２２を標準、２５以上を肥満とする。毎日新聞　2009年4月7日　東京夕刊

retrieved from http://mdn.mainichi.jp/mdnnews/news/20090411p2a00m0na017000c.html

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Started Losing Weight! Japanese Diet and American Diet

158.5! I know it's not much but it's something! Finally, I started to see the weight loss after 3 weeks into my boot camp! I feel like I'm in a better shape and I feel better about myself for doing something right. I am happy that the number started to drop, but I don't want to focus too much on the number itself. How I feel, how I look, and most of all, how my health condition is more important than the number itself.

Anyways, let me talk a bit about Japanese diet. As most of you already know, Japan has the smallest number of obesity in all so called "developed" countries. (i find this term ironic. if our countries are so "developed" why are we witnessing all the racism, crimes, suicides, homelessness, hunger, and all that??? we have to wake up!) Yes, Japanese people have the longest life and much less people are sick, apparently. Why, why, why? What are Japanese people doing right? Maybe diet?

I think diet is a lot to do with it! Traditionally, Japanese people eat lots of vegetable and fish(I know the entire world, especially the US is bashing Japan for eating/fishing too many fish. I agree that Japan should change how we fish. I disagree that we should eat less fish. We don't want to eat lots of meat like westerners, because we see the result of eating too much meat in the Western countries.). Of course, the staple food is white rice.

I have talked to lots of doctors about diet, both in Japan and the U.S.. All doctors agreed that we should avoid eating red meat as much as we can. We don't have to cut red meat completely, but red meat is not good for a lot of things, they say. We have soy beans as protein substitute, if we are worried about the protein.

I see this point. Because Japanese people don't eat a lot of meat. They are much skinnier than average Americans, no offense.(hey, my weight is as heavy as average American, so don't take this personal.) It's just a fact. The obesity rate is very low in Japan. It might be something to do with the amount of red meat we eat.

If you have gone to Japan, you know this but JAPANESE PORTION size is so SMALL! When you see it, you go like "Are you kidding me? Is this a kids meal? Do I look like a kid? I'm gonna be starving at the end of my meal!" Yes, I feel the same way every time I eat in a Japanese restaurant. Japanese people in general, including men, don't eat a lot. Often, portion size is about 1/2 or 2/3 of what we get here in the U.S. (still, same price. ouch!)

I guess if you are born and raised in the society where all portion size is so small, it is natural for you to eat only that much and you don't see anything wrong with it. Now, I'm over here living in a big portion country, unfortunately, my stomach is accustomed to the portion size here and got enlarged by it, I must sadly admit. :(

Traditional Japanese dishes are prepared either steamed, stir fried, or stewed. Not a lot of fried stuff.

It is funny because Japanese people are very skinny, but they are obsessed with weight loss. American small size clothes would be Japanese large size. ha ha. I go to Japan, and I can hardly find my clothes size because I am TOO BIG. (In the U.S, I wear size 10-12.) People tell me to my face that I am fat. Not funny, but they think it is. Funny thing is that all these skinny Japanese people believe that they still have to lose weight! I'm talking about size 0 women trying to lose weight! Isn't that crazy or what? Now, you see why I left that dangerous country.


Well, if we all follow these traditional Japanese diet, we can be as skinny as average Japanese people. Question is....can we?

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About me

(PHOTO-me and my friend's dog, Bassy.)

Since I wrote a bit about myself in JAPANESE in the last post, I decided to do the same in ENGLISH as well.

I was born and raised in OKINAWA, JAPAN. (Please take a look at the slide show on the right hand side! Click to enlarge the photos, and you can read the captions, too!)Gorgeous, gorgesou place! For me, it's the best place on this planet!

When I was 17, I left Okinawa, the TROPICAL ISLAND, and went to Black Earth, WISCONSIN!(45 minutes to the west of Madison. population of 1280! Lots of snow, lots of cows!)

There, I spent my senior year of high school, and I loved it!(everybody was super nice to me! I don't know why...)
After the graduation, I went back to Japan. I did not go back to my hometown. Instead, I went to TOKYO and lived there for 7 years in total. I totally loved my life in Tokyo! While I attended the university and graduate school, I had all kinds of part-time jobs(I might tell you about it in the future posts. you gonna like it! ;). In my 1st year of uni, I spent a bit over 1 month in YAKIMA, WASHINGTON. In my 2nd year of uni, I spent half a year in Victoria, CANADA. That was such a horrible experience! The place was ok, but I guess Victoria was way too quiet for a 20 year old... There, I learned American Sign Language and I fell in love with that language and the ASL community!

Right after I graduated from my grad school, I went back to OKINAWA and taught English as a foreign language in senior high schools. Working with high school kids was a lot of fun! But it was not something I wanted to continue for the rest of my life.(Japanese work environment is very backward and primitive! My personality does not suit that kind of environment!) So, I quit that job and went to Australia!

In AUSTRALIA, I took a road trip for 1 month from SYDNEY to MELBOURNE to CANBERRA. I loved Australia so I decided to stay there and go to school. For 2 months, I attended some language school in Melbourne during the day time and got drank at night. After all, I decided Australia was not a place for me to live, even though I loved the country.

So, I headed to MIAMI, FLORIDA, and hung out on the beach for 1 month. How nice, huh? Of course I absolutely loved it there!

From there, I came to SF BAY AREA. It's been a bit over 3 years since I started my life here. I've lived in SF and OAKLAND. Even though I like SF enough to the point I lived there for over 2 years, I feel that SF is way overrated. It's too cold and foggy! But, I LOVE OAKLAND! I go to a grad school in SF, pursuing my doctorate program in education. I am supposed to be done within 1 year! Then, my life in the Bay Area will come to an end. I will go back to Okinawa and work there for 4 1/2 years. :(
I am hoping to come back here to the U.S., after that. Who knows what's going to happen though.

MY INTERESTS include big black DOGS(and most dogs in general. I love dogs like crazy!!! But I'm one of those people who draws the clear line between people and animals.Unfortunately, I cannot keep a pet in my apt. :( ), learning SPANISH(I love this language. I wish I had more opportunity to practice it), volunteering, working with KIDS, hotsprings, flying single engine AIRPLANES (yes, I love speed and height!I've been flying on and off for 17 years now! wow, I feel old! lol), GOLFing(I do it terribly, but with enthusiasm), and sleeping!!

I'm also a BIG TRAVELLER, I guess. I've been to 14 countries(and at least 136 cities!) so far, and lived in 4 countries. I want to go to African countries, Cuba, and more Asian countries such as China, as well. I have been making many many visits to L.A., LONG BEACH area throughout my life. Eventually, I want to settle down in Long Beach.

Oh, don't forget, lOSING WEIGHT IS MY #1 INTEREST at the moment!

As you can see in my earlier posts, I'm into this boot camp now.
So far, I haven't missed a day yet!
I'm 2 weeks into the camp and I can already feel the difference!
I have to change my diet, though.
I realize that exercising by itself is never enough in order to lose weight and get in a good shape. Diet might count 80% of the process.
I'm 32 and I feel like this is my last chance to do this, or I will get sick at some point and I cannot afford to do that to myself.

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はじめまして

はじめまして。ヨウコです。宜しくお願いします。
自己紹介をさせてくださいな。

沖縄生まれ、沖縄育ち。
17歳で狭すぎる沖縄＆日本脱出！
アメリカはウィスコンシン州の片田舎へ。
10ヶ月間の高校留学生活後、卒業。
高校卒業後、帰国。
大学、大学院生活等、7年を東京で過ごす。
その間、カナダはビクトリアで半年、無意味な語学留学。
沖縄に帰り、3年半の公務員生活。
公務員生活に別れを告げ、オーストラリアへ。
オーストラリアで3ヶ月暮らし、こりゃダメだと思い、脱出。
マイアミで1ヶ月ゆっくりした後、
カリフォルニアはサンフランシスコへ。
サンフランシスコのベイエリアに引っ越してきて早3年。
オークランドとサンフランシスコでの生活。
サンフランシスコの大学院に通う日々。
帰国が一年後に迫る今。

ダイエットに燃えてます。
2週間前にブートキャンプに参加！
しかし、今のところ痩せてません。笑
楽して痩せる方法を知っている方、教えてください！


趣味はスペイン語学習。
あとはダイエットですね。笑

ってか、日本でもアメリカでも「やや肥満宣告」されて、かなり危機を感じる今日この頃。
痩せたい。でも食べたい。誰か助けて！

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Boot Camp 2nd Week!

I'm done with the 2nd week of the boot camp!

Every week, I am supposed to attend it 4 times.

But I just attended 3 times this week.

Good thing about this Oakland Boot Camp is that it's flexible and

if I missed one day this week, I can go extra day the next week.

So, I will go 5 times next week to make up for this week.

My weight is still the same but I already feel the difference.

The camp is supposed to be getting harder each day, but

I feel like it's getting easier.

It is still hard getting up at 5am, but once I get there it feels really good.

My legs are getting stronger.

It looks like my legs look more in shape and feels harder.


I still have to work on reducing the amount of food that I eat.

It is really hard.

It's like food addiction.

I eat when I am depressed and I eat when I am happy.

Also, I have to watch what I eat, too.

Other people are doing it, I can do it, too.

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Boot Camp Day 4! End of 1st Week!

The last day for this week's camp!

We did the assessment which entailed jogging, sit ups and push ups.

Other than the assessment, we did lots of crunches and leg exercises.

I survived the first week of this camp, yeah!

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Boot Camp Day 3!

The third day was tougher than the previous two days.

They make it harder and harder each day.

We used tube ropes a lot, which was not easy, as my upper body, especially my arms are

very weak.

Also, we ran up and down this steep hill 3 times.

Anyways, I am glad that I went!

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Boot Camp Day 2!

Yes, I went to the boot camp (http://www.oaklandbootcamp.com/index.html )this morning as well!It was my 2nd day.

I signed up for a 4 day/week, so I get to have a day off during the week, which was yesterday for this week.Today's camp was even harder than my 1st day.We had to run up and down this steep hill 4 times, on top of a regular jogging in the flat area.

The kick boxing type thing we did was fun. I like kicking and punching. I wish I had some real live target, though.

Push ups, jumping jacks, crunches are not fun.

My least favorite is anything to do with hand weights because my arms are so weak.

Everybody is supposed to use 3-8 lbs weights, but it's too much for me, so I am using 1kg weight, which is about 2 lbs I guess.

Anna and Jennie are tough but they make exercise fun and exciting!

I like this camp already!

I do hate getting up so early, but I can be done with my work before everybody even wakes up!

I get there at 5:30 and am done with it at 6:30am. It's still dark and

you can see the moon and starts in the sky. What a way to start a day!

The only thing is that I get sleepy later in the day.


For breakfast, I had a piece of bread.

For lunch, I had some almonds.

For dinner, I will have either vegan Japanese or Chinese.

No snacking! Good job!

I have to remember to drink lots of water.

Today, I weigh 161lbs. Yeah, yeah, I know. It hasn't changed since I started this blog. lol

Well, at least, I am keep trying. I haven't given up. I cannot afford to give up.

By the way, one of my readers (thank you!) sent me this article about good food and bad food.

It was quite interesting. Take a look! I think this is good especially to someone with kids.

http://health.yahoo.com/experts/eatthis/26542/americas-unhealthiest-restaurants

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Boot Camp Day 1!

So, it's been like 1 month since I started this "diet."

No positive result yet..... :(

I realized that if it's up to me, even though I have this great knowledge of dieting, I just cannot lose any weight.

So, as a last resort, I signed up for a boot camp! Yeah!

I was talking with my golf buddy and she told me that she signed up for a boot camp. (by the way, she is not fat at all...)

I thought this was a wonderful idea.

Yes, I have a gold's gym membership but I never go there. :(

See, I am so not disciplined.

I am a kind of person who needs to be forced to do the right thing when it comes to food and exercise, otherwise, I will always do the opposite of what I am supposed to do.

So, I decided to join my girlfriend to this boot camp.

It's pretty expensive (5 Days $299/ 4 Days $249/ 3 Days $199 per week, it' s a 4week camp ),

but if I could lose weight with this small investment, it's really cheap!

Not only I will lose weight, but also I will gain my health, beauty, youthfulness, and

self confidence. Isn't this a good deal?

I've already spent (or should i say "wasted"?) enough money on weight loss in

the past 32 years. At this point, another $249 would not make much difference, right?

Besides, this $249 is the money that I would spend on snacks if I did not join this camp.

If I could become size 8 now(without any hard work), I don't mind giving up all my savings! I mean it. (like I have any savings, hahaha!)

Anyways, going back to the boot camp, it starts at 5:30 AM!

Yes, I said AM! And I am not a morning person! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!!!

Guess what?

Monday, 23rd was the first day. And I was there! Yeah!

I was the first person who got there that morning.

I give myself a credit for waking up that early in the morning and showing up to the site.

The camp was so hard!

Anna and Jennie are the instructors and they are so tough!

They did not give us a break even though that was only our first day!

Still, it was a lot of fun.

I always do everything I can to avoid excercise, but everytime I actually exercise,

I truly enjoy it! Strange?

The first day exercises included: light running, weight training, push-ups, crunches, lunges, and etc.

I really felt that I was out of shape.

This is not good because I am ONLY 32 and I should be in the best shape now.

So, anyways, I somehow survived the first day.

I am proud of myself !

Attending with a friend helped. (although most people are attending by themselves)

I attended only one day so far, but I highly recommend this boot camp to anybody.

The one I am attending is called Oakland Boot Camp:

http://www.oaklandbootcamp.com/index.html

If I was successful after the whole 4 weeks, i will put up MY VERY OWN BEFORE AND AFTER PHOTOS here! hahaha, that'd be funny!

Tomorrow is my second day and I have to get up in 7 and half hours!

I still have to write my dissertation before I go to bed.

Now, I rather attend the boot camp than writing my dissertation. :(

I hope I can get up tomorrow and not miss the camp.

Wish me luck!

by the way, I weighed myself on Monday and I was 161.5........ :(

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How my brother lost 40 lbs in 2 months!

Ok, let me talk about how my brother lost his weight. What he did is something I cannot do. All he did was just stopped eating.He just drank lots of water and ate one SMALL salad a day.That was just it for the day.He would not come to the dinner table, he did not go into a restaurant when his family and friends went into the restaurant.He did not exercise at all. In 2 months, he lost over 40 lbs!!!

He looked much better.At the end of the 2 months, he felt kind of sick. Surprise?He started eating a bit by bit, but at this point, his stomach was so small, he did not have to eat a lot to be full.Now, he eats regular food, but just "regular" portion.He gained 5 lbs back, but seems like now it's staying at that weight.I know his way is too difficult for me to do and I have to do it in some other way. But, maybe this is an effective way for some people.

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How he lost weight

I am going to bed now so I won't write.

But tomorrow, when I wake up, I will write about how my brother lost like

40 lbs in 2 months, and the results as well.

I wanted to write this down now so tomorrow, I will remember to write this. lol

maybe secretly, I will post his before and after photos, too.

If he finds out, he will kill me, but who cares, right? haha.

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no progress.... :(

Ok, this is not good.

Things are not changing.

Today's weight is 161 lbs.

I am not exercising and I am still eating the things that I am not supposed to eat.

I know exactly what to do and what not to do in order to lose weight, but

I just cannot seem to practice it.

No, I haven't been to the OA meeting yet. I really should go.

I think I am a little scared.

But there is NO good reason for me to stay fat and ugly and keep hating myself.

I'm 32 and I am not young any more.

I'd better start taking good care of my own health.

Losing weight is the best thing I can do for my body now.

I will do it.

If any of you know what works, please help me!!! I will try ANYTHING!

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161

Today's weight, 161.

I wish it was easier.

I forgot to take Hoodia today.

I have to remember to take it everyday.

I did not exercise at all today.

It was raining but that's a bad excuse.

Tomorrow, I will eat less.

I will be working all day so I won't be able to exercise.

This is frustrating. :(

But, I will do this. I will not give up.

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Today's weight 161.5 lbs.

Someone said that I did not over eat today.

I am not sure.

The number does not look good.

So depressing.

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Slogans from OA

The elevator is broken - take the steps

I didn't use food;food used me.

First things first.

An attitude of gratitude

When in doubt, leave it out.

If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

HALT - Don't get too Hungry,Angry,Lonely or Tired.

Isolation is the dark room where we develop our negatives.

Don't compare your insides to other people's outsides.

Keep an open mind, but don't let your brains fall out.

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

If you're spinning your wheels, try getting out of the driver's seat.

If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Your as sick as your secrets.

If you do what you always did, you'll get what you always got.

Take an action, then let go of the results.

Live and let live.

One day at a time.

Keep it simple.

Serenity isn't freedom from the storm:it's peace within the storm.

Surrendering means you don't have to fight anymore.

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Overeaters Anonymous

I found OA meetings near my house.

I think I will join one of them very soon.

This is kinda funny, because even before I go there,

I know I will be "too skinny" to join the meeting and

members will hate me for that.

The thing is, I am overeating and it is not doing any good

to my body, mind or spirit.

I guess the damage is still smaller than the damage many

other people have had.

Still, it is a fact that I have this weight issue.

My doctor told me that I'm overweight.

So, I am officially fat!

If I don't do anything about it now, things will only get

harder.

Now, it is not too late.

I can do this. I will do this.

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Day 6

Ok, my diet is going veeeery slowly.

Today, I weigh 160.

I haven't walked for a couple of days now since it's been raining. (excuse, excuse...)

This morning, I woke up late so I skipped breakfast.

For lunch, I had rice, leftover chicken cream stew.

Oh I haven't had much water. I better drink water now.

Dinner, cream cheese & salmon bagel, salad, tea, and water.


One of my readers told me not to eat the bagel, but I could not resist. :(

If I had not eaten the bagel, it would have gone bad and that would have been a waste.

That sounds like a bad excuse just to eat more....

I always have tons of reasons why I should eat this and that.....

Long way to go.

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Day 1

1st entry!

This time, I am serious.

I will lose weight for real.

I am so sick and tired of my weight, how I look, what I wear, how I feel about myself all because of my weight.

I know I will be much happier and more confident when I lose weight.

I cannot stay fat and ugly forever and keep hating myself.

Today, I weigh 161. In 2 months, I will lose 21 lbs.

Do you think it's possible? I DO!!!

This blog will be used to record my progress.

And you, the reader is to monitor my progress everyday and

encourage me.

I hope hoodia will make miracle happen.

Anyways...

Breakfast: slimfast mixed with soy milk.

Lunch: Tarragon Chicken Salad Sandwich. (480 calories, 35g protein, 11g total fat, 3g fiber, 1210mg sodium.) and tea(you know I don't add sugar to my tea).

Dinner: Something really good.

Between my work, I'm walking up and down the hill of SF to get a fresh air and some exercise.

Last couple of days, I power-walked around the lake. I will keep doing it.

3 days ago, I started taking hoodia, the miracle pills.

I can feel that it's working.

I am supposed to keep taking it for 6 weeks.

Even though I used to feel hungry constantly and I had a habit of just keep eating something,

now I don't feel hungry so all the time and I don't have that strong urge to eat.

This is great!

I hope I can stay this way.

Good luck to myself!

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